The night the knock on the doors changed by life forever

On 28th July 2019 at just before 8am I received a knock on our door, two police officers informed me that my darling son had been killed in a hit and run. At that second my life fell to pieces. The beautiful, loving, caring son I created and raised was gone forever. If that wasn’t cruel enough, I then had to endure the torture of hearing how the person responsible for running over him, left him horrifically and fatally injured in the road after dragging him 18 metres under his car, without a second thought and drove off. This meant that my son was then hit by a second vehicle and dragged a further 14 metres. I felt sick to my stomach and absolutely devastated. I cannot, and I will not tell you the images I carry in my head, only that I am unable to sleep at night without medication. I have had therapy to try and come to terms with these images and the loss of Ryan. My therapist informed me I was suffering PTSD and I feel I will never fully recover. The driver not only robbed me of Ryan he also robbed me of the opportunity to say goodbye due to Ryan’s injuries.
My family are my world and it is now incomplete. I used to love family events and Facetime with Ryan and his family. Instead, I now dread birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries as Ryan’s absence from my life is so painful and all-consuming. I can only get through them with the help of Diazepam.
I take my grandsons out at weekends and this rips me apart, looking into their little faces so innocent and unaware of the cruel world we live in.
If I told you I hadn’t considered taking my own life, I would be lying. I just keep going as I have family who are struggling with Ryan’s loss and it would be unfair to add to their pain, so, I wake each day, remember and force myself to get up, cry, go into Ryan’s old room, speak to him, wish it was all a nightmare and face the day the best I can. I go to bed at the end of the day and tell myself that I am another day closer to meeting Ryan again, wishing my life away.
I travel the road on which Ryan was killed regularly, I blow him a kiss and tell him how much I love and miss him. I cannot seem to erase the images of him in the road.
I have found it very difficult when the driver waved at me when he saw me in the village. It is hard to believe that he is as uncaring about Ryan’s death as he makes out by his behaviour. He has never sent a card or letter or attempted to send a message via his solicitor or the police offering his sympathy or condolences.
Witnesses say the driver was seen drinking that night and it has been very hard to accept the fact that if he had not got into his car and driven then Ryan would still be alive.
It is my opinion that the world has lost a truly decent, honest hard-working young man, and I have lost my darling son of whom I am so proud.
The driver pleaded guilty to failure to stop and guilty to failure to report. He was given a 4-month sentence, suspended for 12 months. A three-night curfew (Mon-Wed) for 4 months and a 12-month driving ban. This is what my son’s life was worth, treated like a broken wing mirror, disgusting!
Please support our petition #RyansLaw and stop another family living this injustice, pain and grief.
I just want justice for my son, and his life not to be worthless.
Helen Saltern – Ryan’s mum

Please sign & share the petition link below.